In my first blog on trust I ended by stating that people focus too much on whether or not to trust, and not enough on how to trust. Thinking of trust as having different faces reveals how to trust more effectively. By faces I mean different ways that trust presents itself to us, and […]
#21 Predictability Is Better Than No Trust At All Keep Reading »
There are two sides to the competence face of trust that I have noticed. You might say there’s a bright side and a dim side. The bright side first. In a couple of classes I have asked participants to break into pairs and talk about a time when someone – boss, parent, mentor or
#20 Our Trust In Competence – The Bright And Dim Sides Keep Reading »
In my first blog on trust I introduced five faces of trust. Integrity is probably the face of trust that we most often relate to. It involves relying on people behaving and acting in the way that they present themselves to us. In The Truth about Trust David DeSteno makes four helpful suggestions regarding
#19 How Trustworthy Is That Person? Four Considerations Keep Reading »
In determining whether to trust and how much to trust someone we don’t know, we humans rely on several factors. If we don’t have access to information from others on someone’s reputation, we are often stuck with having to make a determination from being with that person. I find this subject a bit of
#18 Assessing Trustworthiness – Using Your Head Or Gut? Keep Reading »
Trust is a permeating and pervasive feature of relationships that often enters into conflict dynamics. I frequently hear from my mediation clients, “I don’t trust him.” What do they mean? In his important new book, The Truth about Trust, David DeSteno takes an adaptive perspective on trust. He says we trust because it is
#17 Betting On Trust Keep Reading »
You might be a manager speaking to subordinates, a coach talking to players, or a respected older sibling being consulted. When you have different priorities than others who you have some influence or control over, how do you work out differences? In every case your approach will lie somewhere on the continuum of telling
#16 Avoid a Pitfall: Be Transparent About Your Decision-Making Keep Reading »
In this blog, I further explore last week’s topic of moral reasoning in conflict. When people are in conflict they justify retaliatory behaviour as appropriate. As each party reactively retaliates they engage in behaviour they would otherwise consider inappropriate. This response pattern seems to be prevalent and almost automatic in many cultures including the
#15 Moral Reasoning and Conflict Keep Reading »
Gail and I were recently at a dinner table with a couple that live in rural California. The male half of this couple, who I will call Paul, told a story that I found quite revealing about how we humans may rationalize hurting others. Apparently Paul and his wife live in a free shooting
#14 Distortion of Moral Reasoning in Conflict Keep Reading »
In my previous blog I provided some questions that will help you prepare for any negotiation. The questions below are supplemental. They are additional preparatory questions to help you orient yourself and ground yourself when there are conflict dynamics in a negotiating relationship. These questions also deepen your preparation work. The questions below also function to
#13 Preparing for Negotiation When There is Conflict Keep Reading »
