Bernie Mayer

The importance of speaking up - photo of two birds, one chatting to the other

#89 The Importance of Speaking Up

Listening well is often considered the hallmark of effective communication in conflict dynamics, but speaking one’s mind well is also important. Meaningful communication always flows in both directions. Bernie Mayer discussed the importance of speaking up in Episode 6 of the On Conflict Podcast. Referring to himself, Bernie elevated the importance of speaking up: “The […]

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Encapsulating Conflict – How to Live with On-Going Conflict When You're at Your Wit's Ends

#78 Encapsulating Conflict – How to Live with Ongoing Conflict When You’re at Your Wit’s Ends

Some conflicts are not going away, and focusing on resolution may be counter-productive. I heard leading researcher John Gottman say in a plenary address that over 65 percent of marital conflict is never resolved. It’s how couples live and work with conflict that makes the difference. The same could be said of many other organizational,

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#49 Conflict Avoidance: Four Types And Four Questions To Get You Re-engaged

You may have noted a theme in my blogs regarding my attitude to conflict. I think much of what we do that doesn’t work stems from conflict avoidance and our inability to be with conflict. I find that acceptance of conflict is more likely to facilitate a constructive shift in conflict dynamics which will then

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#27 Staying With Conflict: A Small Lesson In Conflict Transformation

Bernie Mayer has been encouraging us to stay with conflict (Staying with Conflict, 2008). I recall a mediation experience from five years ago that enriched my understanding of what it means to stay with conflict, and how staying with conflict can be helpful. Two parents and former spouses were in conflict over what school their

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