Much is made of the difference between open and closed questions in conflict resolution training, but there are additional ways of understanding questions that are highly relevant to being collaborative. The amount of advocacy included in your question is one of those understandings. When you ask an open question, is it a low advocacy question […]
#82 Enhance Collaboration with Low Advocacy Questions Keep Reading »
The dialogue below is fictitious, but it is based on an experience I had as a mediator. It illustrates how mediation resistance can manifest, for example over encountering the other party The context is a court mediation program in which the mediator does not have the opportunity to conduct pre-mediation meetings. The Defendant and her
#69 A Dialogue: Overcoming Mediation Resistance Keep Reading »
In the previous blog I wrote that remaining overly defensive is tantamount to turning one’s back on a growth opportunity. By considering the possible merit of the critical perspectives of others, we can integrate new ways of seeing ourselves and of seeing the world. In this blog I will explain two ways to think about
#54 Two Specific Ways To Make Use Of Your Defensiveness Keep Reading »
In the previous blog I wrote about how most of us require a specific self-management practice in order to be effective in conflict engagements. But, being thoroughly non-defensive requires more than a self-management practice. It rests on an understanding of defensive reactivity that assigns to it a high level of personal responsibility. In this blog
#53 Being Defensive Means Compromising Our Growth Keep Reading »
By self-management I mean a highly practical and essential nuts-and-bolts practice that allows us to manage the defensive reactions we have in conflict interactions. When we are criticized or attacked we tend to reflexively defend ourselves. In order to be effective in conflict we have to be able to manage those reactions. Rather than act
#52 Why You Need A Self-Management Habit Keep Reading »
In my previous blog I provided some questions that will help you prepare for any negotiation. The questions below are supplemental. They are additional preparatory questions to help you orient yourself and ground yourself when there are conflict dynamics in a negotiating relationship. These questions also deepen your preparation work. The questions below also function to
#13 Preparing for Negotiation When There is Conflict Keep Reading »
Conflict may frighten you, or at the least, you find it unpleasant. Perhaps the last thing you would choose to do is to engage in conflict, and yet this is exactly what I encourage you to do in spite of the anxiety you may feel. Firstly, a few words about avoiding conflict because
#2 Seven Reasons to Embrace Conflict Keep Reading »
