In this post I’m outlining some of the ways that you can be more capable in conflict, while at the same time focusing on some challenging (read: potentially rewarding) areas of personal growth. The five practices below will give you access to the growth potential of conflict. 1. Be curious about your reactivity and develop […]
#102 Five Key Practices to Unlock the Growth Potential of Conflict Keep Reading »
Think systemically. This is the second dimension of leadership in conflict. (In blog post #93 I outlined eight dimensions of leadership that empower a leader to be more effective in conflict.) Conflict is a wonderful barometer of organizational life. A disruptive dispute between two individuals may be attributable to their personalities or lack of skill,
#95 Think Systemically To Lead Effectively Through Conflict Keep Reading »
In the previous blog I wrote that remaining overly defensive is tantamount to turning one’s back on a growth opportunity. By considering the possible merit of the critical perspectives of others, we can integrate new ways of seeing ourselves and of seeing the world. In this blog I will explain two ways to think about
#54 Two Specific Ways To Make Use Of Your Defensiveness Keep Reading »
In the previous blog I wrote about how most of us require a specific self-management practice in order to be effective in conflict engagements. But, being thoroughly non-defensive requires more than a self-management practice. It rests on an understanding of defensive reactivity that assigns to it a high level of personal responsibility. In this blog
#53 Being Defensive Means Compromising Our Growth Keep Reading »
By self-management I mean a highly practical and essential nuts-and-bolts practice that allows us to manage the defensive reactions we have in conflict interactions. When we are criticized or attacked we tend to reflexively defend ourselves. In order to be effective in conflict we have to be able to manage those reactions. Rather than act
#52 Why You Need A Self-Management Habit Keep Reading »
‘Identity quake’ is a term used by the authors of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. It means a disruption in how we view and understand ourselves, and it is an important concept to understand if you wish to gain the maximum from your conflict interactions. An identity quake offers valuable opportunity for
#51 Make Your Identity Quake Work For You Keep Reading »
Last time I wrote about how shifting some attention to yourself can help resolve a dispute. I used the example practice of clarifying your preferred direction in life then assessing whether your engagement in a conflict is consistent with movement in the desired direction. In this blog I will outline a potentially powerful way you
#32 The Internalizing Conversation Keep Reading »
Cinnie Noble recently raised the topic of conflict and spirituality in her LinkedIn group, the Conflict Coaching Guild. This is a topic close to my heart and one I will likely return to in future posts. Through the lively discussion Cinnie started, I discerned a division in approaches to spirituality in conflict. The first
#8 Are Conflict and Spirituality Connected? Keep Reading »
“All of you undisturbed cities, haven’t you ever longed for the enemy’ begins Rainer Maria Rilke’s poem in translation from Das Stundenbuch. In David Whyte’s interpretation of the poem, Rilke’s walled, disconnected city is symbolic of the self which needs an enemy to break down its walls and reconnect. That enemy is life, which relentlessly
#3 Longing for the Enemy Keep Reading »
