High conflict calls for structure. You may not always stay within that structure. That’s OK. But you need a methodical framework to fall back on. The method below supports you in acting consciously rather than reactively. It enables you to manage the conversation constructively. Possessing and using such a framework is helpful in all conflict. […]
#29 A Methodical Framework For High Conflict Keep Reading »
Members of an effective team bring passion to their work. That passion results is strong points of view and contributes to the intensity of differences. When the differences are experienced as incompatible, which at times is inevitable, conflict is born. Effective team members therefore require an interpersonal tolerance to differences and a capacity to engage
#28 Relationship Repair On Teams Keep Reading »
Bernie Mayer has been encouraging us to stay with conflict (Staying with Conflict, 2008). I recall a mediation experience from five years ago that enriched my understanding of what it means to stay with conflict, and how staying with conflict can be helpful. Two parents and former spouses were in conflict over what school their
#27 Staying With Conflict: A Small Lesson In Conflict Transformation Keep Reading »
The watershed moments in which disputes are resolved are many and varied. Recently, the participants late in a mediation, deviated from my suggested way of proceeding. They expressed their frank and full dissatisfaction and dislike of each other. I was surprised by how such expressions late in the mediation seemed to facilitate settlement. This was a
#25 Highlighted Differences Result In Mediation Settlement Keep Reading »
Thank you to those who made comments about my previous blog. Your remarks have given rise to some points of clarification and further exploration. I am not suggesting that differences and conflict are the same thing. Rather, conflict seems to depend upon how we respond to difference; whether we find our perception of a difference
#24 Differences And Creativity Keep Reading »
Mediators such as myself sometimes speak to their clients about the creative opportunity that conflict may present. Really, how deep and foundational is this notion of a link between conflict and creative opportunity? Deep I think. Whether speaking of creativity in such a manner is an effective way to engage a mediation participant is another
#23 The Origins of Conflict and Creativity Keep Reading »
High performance teams where the group achieves surprising levels of productivity are rare. The consultant Patrick Lencioni writes about five important team capacities: trust, conflict engagement, commitment, accountability, and results focus. When referring to trust, which he places at the foundation of a well-functioning team, Lencioni stresses the vulnerability face of trust. Vulnerability means
#22 Vulnerability on Teams Keep Reading »
In my first blog on trust I ended by stating that people focus too much on whether or not to trust, and not enough on how to trust. Thinking of trust as having different faces reveals how to trust more effectively. By faces I mean different ways that trust presents itself to us, and
#21 Predictability Is Better Than No Trust At All Keep Reading »
There are two sides to the competence face of trust that I have noticed. You might say there’s a bright side and a dim side. The bright side first. In a couple of classes I have asked participants to break into pairs and talk about a time when someone – boss, parent, mentor or
#20 Our Trust In Competence – The Bright And Dim Sides Keep Reading »
