In the previous blog I wrote that remaining overly defensive is tantamount to turning one’s back on a growth opportunity. By considering the possible merit of the critical perspectives of others, we can integrate new ways of seeing ourselves and of seeing the world. In this blog I will explain two ways to think about […]
#54 Two Specific Ways To Make Use Of Your Defensiveness Keep Reading »
In the previous blog I wrote about how most of us require a specific self-management practice in order to be effective in conflict engagements. But, being thoroughly non-defensive requires more than a self-management practice. It rests on an understanding of defensive reactivity that assigns to it a high level of personal responsibility. In this blog
#53 Being Defensive Means Compromising Our Growth Keep Reading »
‘Identity quake’ is a term used by the authors of Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most. It means a disruption in how we view and understand ourselves, and it is an important concept to understand if you wish to gain the maximum from your conflict interactions. An identity quake offers valuable opportunity for
#51 Make Your Identity Quake Work For You Keep Reading »
The mosquito is the most dangerous animal in the world, but it is not the animal most of us imagine with fear. I heard an American political adventurer (my term) being interviewed on the CBC radio show, Ideas, use this example to clarify the difference between what is frightening and what is dangerous. During the
We have different parts to ourselves: body, mind, emotion, spirit, and heart. Conflict impacts some or all of these five parts of us. In the previous blog I wrote that we must communicate from the part that has been impacted in order to address the effects of conflict on that level. And, when trust is
#46 The Five Parts Of Us Impacted By Conflict Keep Reading »
In the last two posts, I wrote about Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis who ran into stiff opposition from the medical establishment in the 1850s for asking doctors to wash their hands between dissecting cadavers and assisting women in childbirth even when he presented convincing statistical evidence that the washing routine was reducing mortality of mothers. You
#40 Dr. Semmelweis: The Complexity of Conflict Stories Keep Reading »
In the previous post I wrote about Dr. Ignaz Philip Semmelweis (1818 – 1865) a medical doctor who lost two of his residency positions in hospitals for directing his doctors to wash their hands before assisting women in childbirth. Semmelweis formulated the equivalent of a germ theory of disease, from inferences alone, a full two
#39 Dr. Semmelweis: The Power of Political Norms to Tilt the Outcome of Conflict Keep Reading »
This post and the next are derived from the professional and life circumstance of Dr. Ignaz Philip Semmelweis (1818 – 1865). Semmelweis’ story illustrates several features of both ideological factors in the development of conflict and the complexity of conflict. By ideology I mean a way of believing that takes on a life of its
#38 Dr. Semmelweis And How Being Right Can Cause Conflict Keep Reading »
In interpersonal relationships, power is frequently defined as the capacity to influence or produce a particular outcome. Last year I followed a discussion thread in a Harvard Business Review (HBR) LinkedIn group devoted to defining power. The vast majority of the thousands of people who put forth a definition described power in terms of its
#34 What Is Power? Keep Reading »
