#88 Sustaining Peace With Co-Creation

In an episode of the On Conflict Podcast, author and Reos partner Adam Kahane quotes a line from the Broadway musical Rent: ‘The opposite of war is creation.’ Adam suggests that although ending war may be enough to begin peace, sustaining peace requires that we replace war with something constructive. For instance, formerly adversarial political entities sometimes build a new form of economic cooperation together.

This general line of thinking – that ending something negative (for example, war) doesn’t automatically replace it with something more positive (peace) – applies to conflict and some therapeutic approaches as well.

A client says to a therapist that he intends to quit smoking. Rather than an immediately encouraging response, the therapist asks, “What will you do instead?” In other words, in not smoking, what is the constructive activity you will engage in to ensure that you really can take this step forward? Trying to stop smoking won’t be enough. What phase of living are you going to step towards and into?

In the conflict context, when a mediator asks a separating couple how they want to parent their children, it’s an invitation to create a better parenting experience for their children. They are encouraged to co-create a new reality.

It has long been known that getting disharmonious groups working together on a common goal builds relationship and reduces negative conflicts. Additionally, the benefits of what they achieve through initial cooperation incline them to yet more cooperative activities.

In sustaining peace, ceasing to participate in negative interactions may not be enough, but creating something together fills the gap. Co-constructive activity begins to dominate interactions that might otherwise be opportunities for the bruises from the past to generate new disputes.  

When we’re conscious of the importance of generative co-creating activity, we ask different questions when confronted with conflict. “What could we create together?” is added to questions such as, “How could we interact in a more cooperative manner?”

You can hear Adam Kahane speak about creating together in Episode 6 of the On Conflict Podcast. Additionally, there is an earlier blog in which I write about Adam’s concept of “stretch collaboration” being applied when working with enemies.

I look forward to reading any comments you may have.

Gordon