#56 Complexity Tolerance

Complexity Tolerance: image of a raindrop laden cobweb

In order to make sense out of the world, we seek and use simple explanations for complex things. Simple explanations allow us to comprehend easily and act without undue deliberation, but they can also get us into trouble. Complexity can be advantageous. The tension between simplification and greater complexity plays … Continue reading

#49 Conflict Avoidance: Four Types And Four Questions To Get You Re-engaged

You may have noted a theme in my blogs regarding my attitude to conflict. I think much of what we do that doesn’t work stems from conflict avoidance and our inability to be with conflict. I find that acceptance of conflict is more likely to facilitate a constructive shift in … Continue reading

#27 Staying With Conflict: A Small Lesson In Conflict Transformation

Bernie Mayer has been encouraging us to stay with conflict (Staying with Conflict, 2008). I recall a mediation experience from five years ago that enriched my understanding of what it means to stay with conflict, and how staying with conflict can be helpful. Two parents and former spouses were in … Continue reading

#4 Criticism and Attacks can be an Avoidance Strategy

  One of the most valuable and current books for a mediator is Bernie Mayer’s Staying with Conflict. One of the chapters covers the topic of conflict avoidance – the ways that people shy away from the conversations that would be beneficial for them.   I am sure you can … Continue reading