The Nature of Conflict

Growth Potential of Conflict: Photo of Lock and Key

#102 Five Key Practices to Unlock the Growth Potential of Conflict

In this post I’m outlining some of the ways that you can be more capable in conflict, while at the same time focusing on some challenging (read: potentially rewarding) areas of personal growth. The five practices below will give you access to the growth potential of conflict. 1. Be curious about your reactivity and develop …

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The existential reality of differences is the basis of conflict

#86 Differences: A Way to Understand Conflict

I find the notion of differences helpful in generating a universal understanding of what conflict is. In a marriage, one person might like to shop for vegetables, and the other for general groceries. One may prefer vacuuming and the other doing laundry. And so, shopping and household chores become divided by inclination and interest. We …

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Five Practices for Sustaining Positive Use of Authority

#79 Five Practices For Sustaining Positive Use Of Authority

A coach has authority over members of a team. If people report to you in the workplace then you have authority. In a family, parents usually have significant authority over their children until they no longer live together. By authority I mean a position in society, an organization, or a community that gives you the …

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How to Move Past Anger's Payback Wish (multiple doors)

#74 How to Move Past Anger’s Payback Wish

Emotions have both meanings and action tendencies. Anger’s foremost meaning seems to be that another person or thing has caused harm and there should be a consequence. However, anger’s action tendency – the way it inclines us to carry out the consequence – can be problematic. One of anger’s central action tendencies is what American …

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The tapestry of Anger: Benefits and Liabilities (many traffic lights)

#73 The Tapestry of Anger: A Review of Benefits and Cautions

  Anger is both beneficial and necessary, and at the same time, a potentially dangerous liability. In this blog I write about some of its central benefits along with qualifying cautions. Anger is helpful as a: -Signal of wrong-doing -Means of defense -Message of deterrence -Energetic source of motivation   The categories above (also below) …

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Four ways to escape the blame game

#72 Take Responsibility: Four Ways to Get Out of the Blame Game

In conflict, people may acknowledge that they have contributed to difficulties, but then explain how the other party is more to blame. Parties usually have opposing arguments and are reluctant to take enough responsibility for their role in the conflict, and thus the total responsibility taken between the two is not enough to resolve it. …

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